Child of God
The child

In Loving memories of Russell, my cousin, I choose this blogskin for him.
Thank you for all you had done for us.
We are missing you, and will continue to miss you till the day we meet you again.
Child of god, indeed you are.


MusicPlaylist
Music Playlist at MixPod.com



previous posts

Thoughts....
Holiday....Good or Bad?
Gender issues
A Birthday Song
Hey,guess what..... I have a soul!!!!!!!!!
One more nice nice story....
Yet another very touching story....
Very touching story...
Plagarism...
Photos of Singapore


comments




links

Von aka TechnoGal
Krys Da Jie
Aisya aka Ms "Lucky seh"
Ah Gong Ant
Uncle Zong Hui aka Hunky
Kang Sheng(Uncle's best friend)
Xiao Mei
Hui Qing aka Food Buddy
Stalker Jessie
Chia Sin Sawadee
Act Young Daigo
"Sir" Gloria
Josephine Gong Zhu
Fredy aka Mr"I-Wan-2-Punch-U"
Marc aka Mr "Wa Wa Wa Wa.."
Lamer Char aka Asthma Woman
My Lao Di
My Lao Mei
Ms Bear
Baby Boi
Mao Mao
Miss "Otah"
Mojojo

past

06.26.2005
07.03.2005
07.10.2005
07.17.2005
07.24.2005
07.31.2005
08.07.2005
08.28.2005
09.11.2005
09.25.2005
10.02.2005
10.09.2005
11.13.2005
11.27.2005
01.15.2006
01.29.2006
02.19.2006
02.26.2006
03.05.2006
03.12.2006
03.19.2006
03.26.2006
04.02.2006
04.09.2006
04.16.2006
04.30.2006
05.07.2006
05.21.2006
06.04.2006
06.18.2006
07.16.2006
08.20.2006
08.27.2006
09.03.2006
09.10.2006
09.24.2006
10.01.2006
10.08.2006
10.22.2006
11.26.2006
03.18.2007
06.17.2007
07.29.2007
08.05.2007
08.12.2007
09.02.2007
09.23.2007
09.30.2007
10.07.2007
10.28.2007
11.04.2007
11.18.2007
11.25.2007
12.02.2007
12.09.2007
12.16.2007
12.30.2007
01.13.2008
01.20.2008
01.27.2008
02.03.2008
02.10.2008
02.17.2008
02.24.2008
03.02.2008
03.09.2008
03.16.2008
03.23.2008
03.30.2008
04.06.2008
04.13.2008
04.20.2008
04.27.2008
05.04.2008
05.11.2008
06.01.2008
06.08.2008
06.15.2008
06.29.2008
07.06.2008
08.03.2008
08.10.2008
08.24.2008
08.31.2008
09.07.2008
09.28.2008
10.26.2008
02.22.2009
05.03.2009
06.07.2009
08.16.2009
08.01.2010
08.08.2010


Credits

Designer: Elies
Base code:OHsaygoodbye
Image: sxc.hu

Friday

( Life... @ 12:22:00 PM )


Recently, I have watch this movie called "Be with you", directed by Nobuhiro Doi. The movie talks about this guy call Takumi, who is married and has a son named Yuji. Sadly, his wife, Mio, passed away soon after their son was born. Takumi then lives a peaceful and quiet life with his son. Then a miracle happened. Mio came back on her first death anniversary, but has no recollection of who she is. Takumi brings her back home and tells her bit by bit everyday of what happens in the past, how they fall in love, get married, but not a word was mentioned on the fact that Mio had died one year ago. Family life resumes from where it left off. Sadly, there is always an end to everything. After a six weeks miracle, Mio left. Takumi & Yuji experience the pain of losing their loved one again...

Have you once lost your loved ones? If not, can you imagine the pain of losing them?

Watching this movie reminds me of my grandparents. When I was young, I was very close to my grandmother. She dotes on me. Remember there was a time when she bought lunch for us, and when I stare at the "lor-mee" she bought for my grandpa(his favourite),mouth drooling, my grandmother did not hestitate to give it to me, ignoring grandpa's pissed look. She was really hardworking. Even at her age, you can still see her squatting inside the bathroom scubbing clothes and insist on cooking the meals everyday. She is pretty fit, never had cough, cold, fever etc. Nah, she's a tough old lady.

But when I was 7, it happened. I was told that my grandmother was really sick and had to stay in the hospital. At that time, I was too young to know what exactly happened. I wasn't allowed to visit the hospital as they believe that there's alot of germs in hospital and children are more vulnerable to them. In less than a month, she died. I didn't exactly know what "death" means. All of my cousins and I had to stay at my grandmother house that night while they prepare for her funeral which is to be held at the void deck. As a kid, I just find it thrilling to be able to sleep together with my cousins.

The next day, we went to the funeral. I do not understand why they put a black and white photo of my grandmother there but did not ask further as there was a priest chanting away somewhere near my grandmother's photo. Then next moment, my father
carry me and told me that we are going to see grandmother now. I was happy when I heard that and look around in search of my grandmother, while my dad brought me near to what seems like a wooden box- the coffin.

When I looked into the coffin and saw my grandmother there, with make-up, but life-less, I turned away, scared and shocked. I cried and cried, while my dad quickly brought me away. I do not understand what I saw. My cousins try to cheer me up by making funny faces. I laughed and forgot about the earlier scenario I have saw. Rather, I think I choose not to remember at that moment, though my mind has already lock that image securely in my memories. How do I know that? Because till now, I can never forget how my grandmother looks like in the coffin.

Then last year, my grandfather was diagnosed with lung cancer, due to his smoking habits. He, like my grandmother, had rarely fell ill before. But this time, cancer ripped his health apart. What is left of his once well-builded body are only skin and bones. They did not put him in hospital, as they do not want him to live his last few months in the "lifeless" hospital. When I visit him, I could not believe my eyes. His once fierce face has now change to a miserable look, always staring at the sky beyond his reach. He is too weak to move, and could only afford to move his fingers.He could not speak at all. My mind went blank. Although from what I see, he is really dying, but I still couldn't accept reality. Although I was not very close to him, but looking at this sick old man makes me feels sad for him and would want to accompany him to walk through this difficult time. I just want him to be happy.

Weeks later, on a weekend, my mother received a phone call from my aunt. "He is leaving...." We rush down taking a cab, hoping and praying that we were not too late. When we reach there, my grandpa was breathing slowly and heavily. When my grandpa saw me, his fingers were moving and his breathing accelerates, as if he is trying to tell me something. But he could not. Tears form in his eyes. I hold back my tears as I instruct my other cousin to wipe the tear off his eyes. He looks so sad that I hope there was something I can do to cheer him up. Sadly, I can't.

He is still waiting. Waiting for one of my uncle to come. They help him change to his best clothes. He waited, at certain times stop breathing for so long that we though he's gone. Then my uncle came. My grandpa's breathing start accelerating again. His children try to comfort him and ensure him to not worry about us. His breathe becomes shorter. The interval to the next breathe becomes longer. He close his eyes with pain as tear flows down. Many of us were crying uncontrollably. Suddenly he froze. Breathing stopped. "Ah Ba(Father)!" my mother shouted. He came back. My aunt told her not to "call him back" as he wants to leave. My mother left the room. My uncle tries to assure my grandfather that we will take care of ourselves. I cried as I see his breathing goes shorter and shorter, pained expression in his face. He's gone. I walked out of the room and fall to the sofa, crying. The pain in my heart could not be described. Thoughts starts flashing through my mind. Why didn't I try to know him better when he's alive? Why did I not make an effort to do so? Why?

I dreamed of him the following night. We were having steamboat together. Maybe that was what he wants , to have the whole family back together.

During the funeral, I look at his face in the coffin. They did not put make-up for him. His face was turning black already. Pained expression still there. I cried again. Throughout the funeral this time, I know exactly what is happening, and am glad I do, cause I would never want my grandfather to be erased from my memories. I wish he will be happy wherever he is now, and to live with peace.

I have once lose my two loved ones, and it was painful. Real painful. I can't help to think of how irony life is, and of how little control we have over things. We cannot stop certain things from happening, no matter how closely the things are related to us. We cannot control when we die, but can only learn to cherish every single day we have. Every single day given to us is a precious gift we must make full use of, so that we will not live with regrets in the future for not having accomplished what we want.

Next time when you wanna quarrell with someone, think again. Do you wanna waste time quarrelling, or cherish the time you have with this someone before its too late? Its your choice.



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