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The child Thank you for all you had done for us. We are missing you, and will continue to miss you till the day we meet you again. Child of god, indeed you are. previous posts A friend of mine suggested that i should blog. Aft... True MIssing you Updatessss Updates Updates "When you know that your loved one is looking stra... Alright, gonna update before everyone starts telli... Again. comments links Krys Da Jie Aisya aka Ms "Lucky seh" Ah Gong Ant Uncle Zong Hui aka Hunky Kang Sheng(Uncle's best friend) Xiao Mei Hui Qing aka Food Buddy Stalker Jessie Chia Sin Sawadee Act Young Daigo "Sir" Gloria Josephine Gong Zhu Fredy aka Mr"I-Wan-2-Punch-U" Marc aka Mr "Wa Wa Wa Wa.." Lamer Char aka Asthma Woman My Lao Di My Lao Mei Ms Bear Baby Boi Mao Mao Miss "Otah" Mojojo
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Tuesday ( Confusion @ 2:17:00 PM )  Recently my friend called me to seek advice on his current situation. He had an argument with his semi-girlfriend. Apparently they are friends, but they both love each other. However, the girl does not wanna move further as she feels that my friend only loves her because she loves him. The reason she felt this way is because when she ask him what is special about her that attracts him, he could not answer. As my friend was telling me this, he sounds real miserable as he says he knows he really loves her, but he really couldn't explain what the special part about her is as he just loves her for the way she is. Hey, everyone is special you know, wanting my friend to answer what makes her so special and different from others? Well, I don’t know, unless she’s alien or something… Well, actually, I understand why my friend is feeling so confused. I think though a lot of people are attached / married nowadays, they couldn't possibly explain love too. What is love? How can you be sure you are falling in love with someone? And how can you be sure he's the one for you? The truth is, you can't be absolutely sure about all this stuff. What I can tell you is that you can be absolutely sure that it is not the butterflies in your stomach that could determine this, and it is not solely on how well you two can communicate. Love is just a kind of feeling that we humans have. Sometimes this "feeling" could be just an infatuation; you will know it when the time comes. I had a discussion with my mum when I was younger on this issue. Since she's married, I came to the conclusion that if she tells me the details of their courtship, I will have a better understanding of love. I was having a crush on a guy for approx five years then. However, I was not sure whether it was infatuation / love, thus I concluded that if I take my mum's description of their courtship as reference, I could then determine if it is love / crush. Here’s a brief conclusion I have made from our discussion. It may not be accurate, but could serve as a reference for you all. Infatuation is when you like somebody who happens to have criteria that you desire your future partner would have. For example, being handsome, caring, gentle etc. Thus you feel that he / she is who you want. Sometimes even when you are attached you can have a crush too, probably cause your partner lacks certain criteria that you really hope he / she haves like being caring enough and stuff. Surprisingly, infatuation can last really long too, depending on one to one basic. But love isn’t everything about theory / criteria. It is not something you can predict / estimate through some formula or something. I know a lot of friends who only believe things that can be proven by evidence / theory, but this is just my opinion. I mean, to me, the brain doesn’t teach you everything you know. Yes, your brain stores knowledge and information, tells you when in danger etc. But it does not tell you when to be angry and when not to be. The brain only transmit signal to your facial parts to tell “them” to actually form a angry face when you are angry, while your FEELINGS actually determines your emotion. Love is just the same thing. You can rationale your way on choosing a boyfriend, like he must be handsome, mature, tall, and god knows what. But, seriously, are you sure you are gonna get someone EXACTLY what you want? Can you actually find someone so perfect, yet real? And when you actually feel for someone, can you resist that feeling just because the guy you feel for is not the perfect guy?(ok, I know I keep saying guy here, sorry bout that , bear with me ok, cause I am saying from my own perspective) I’m afraid the answer is negative. To me, love is about feelings, character and fate. Well, maybe some of you may go “Aw, not the fate thing again..” Oh please don’t deny it. Are you trying to say how everybody meets everybody is just some kind of coincidence? Why is it that some people could click off immediately, while others, though may have same hobbies and stuff, just could not click, always having a barrier between them ? You think being allocated to our courses, your school, and getting to know each other is some kind of coincidence too? Well, if you feel so, I have nothing to say. Whatever makes you happy man… When you are in love with somebody, you appreciate his actions and like him just the way he is. Of course, you may have disagreement, but this is when the commitment part comes in. If you feel committed, you will try solve the problems calmly because you know whatever the other party has done, he / she does it purely for your sake, for your good, just that it did not turn out right in the end.You feel at ease when you are with him, not the type of feeling you can get from any other people. And yup, believe it or not, people flare up more in front of their loved ones than others. Why is it so? Because you know your loved ones will forgive you because they understand you so well to know why you are flaring up, and also you feel so comfortable with them that you forget to control your feelings… Also, when you are in love, you tend to get stronger. A LOT of people thought by being in love, the gal becomes all weak and dependable on the guy, but no, this is not the way it works. When you are in a relationship, you need to be real strong to overcome problems faced between the both of you while at the same time dealing your own stress in school or at work, and also you will try support your partner through his / her difficult times. Get it? Its not one-sided contribution / effort, it takes two strong ones to maintain a relationship. You support each other through the storms, and of course when the good days come, the first person you would think of spending it with will be your partners. So you see, being in a relationship is just like being in a friendship, just that you open your life more to that special one. Trust me; no matter how close you are with your friends, there are still stuff you would only say to that special person in your life. At least I do. Have you realise how similar nowadays couples are getting? Couples are wearing similar clothes, have similar hobbies and characters. I don’t know if you ever thought about this, but the fact they are so similar and likes the fact that they are so similar makes me wonder if they actually love each other because they are similar to themselves, which in another words, meaning they are actually “falling in love with themselves”? Isn’t that irony then? Hey, but true right, we know ourselves best, communicate with ourselves best, likes ourselves best… Hmm, who knows, “me” and “myself” could be the best couple! Haha … You know, sometimes couple thinks too much. I do that too. Think about the future, whether they will be together eternally, whether they will maintain good relationship, whether they are really in love. But why? Why do all this thinking to torture ourselves? Wanna know why? Because us humans have being educated too much, thinking everything can be predicted using our most precise and “logical” thinking caps, and in turn have “abuse” our great mind on thinking stuff we should not be racking our head with, and NOT thinking stuff we should really be worried about. Smart eh? Ever wonder why people in the past are living happier than us? Because everyday they just do what they need to do happily, make full use of their time, never try thinking too deep of stuff, instead learn to appreciate each day given to them. Yes, problems do occur in the end, but they will have no regrets at all, for before the problems have occurred, they have lived their past years meaningfully, rather than us modern freaks, who worries about something that has not happen yet, making our lives miserable, though we know thinking about it is not going to solve the problem. Couldn’t believe its human who created today’s technology and humans again being the “abuser” of the great mind… To people who just had a quarrel with their loved ones, including my friend, please have trust in your love. It is not going to collapse just because of some disagreement, thus do no keep thinking, “Will he / she break up with me” this kinda crap yah? Cherish the times you have with him and do not worry of what lies ahead. When the time comes, you will be strong to overcome anything, cause we are humans remember? ;) 0 comments |
