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Sunday ( Gender issues @ 7:32:00 PM )  Recently had to write a journal entry on gender issues..... find it pretty interesting....here's what I wrote for my journal.... In Singapore, we are constantly being reminded of our gender through small things that you may not even notice. A very good example would be the toilets. It is one’s instinct to first check whether its is the female or male sign outside the toilets because that’s what we are suppose to do – follow the norms, do what everyone is doing. Try going to a female toilet if you are a man or a male toilet if you are a woman, the consequences would be drastic. In order to be recognized as a female in the society, there are a few norms we had to follow which are pretty ridiculous when you come to think of it. In today’s world, it has been agreed that a female should have the following features: short / long hair cut, “feminine” voice, smooth skin and graceful body movements. You may be thinking hey, this is ridiculous; I never categorize females this way! Well, maybe I could do a bit of explaining here to refresh your memory. Would a female who shave her head or has extremely short hair just like the males catch your attention more than one that has long hair? Would you stare blankly at a girl whose voice sounds deep and bassy, just like the males? Would you be even a little astonished if you shook a lady’s hand and realize her hand was extremely rough? Would you be surprised if you see a female construction worker pushing bricks around at the construction site? Face it, the answer is definitely yes. Although it is ridiculous, but we humans just blindly follow all this rules for so many years that it become categorize as “common sense”. But seriously, why can’t girls shave their head? Our head does not have any extra ventilation function that we could withstand the heat better than you guys you know! And how can we help it if genetic combination formed before we were born has already been set that our voice will be deeper as compared to other females? And why are guys considered to be very manly when their palms are rough and women to have committed a very grave sin when they have rough palms? Personally I find this being very ridiculous. Do you remember seeing those hand lotion commercials? There was this particular hand lotion commercial that I remember very clearly. The commercial starts with a very pretty and elegant lady having a discussion at her office with one of her male colleague. The discussion ended shortly and the male colleague, who appears to be captivated by the lady’s beauty and capabilities, held out his hand for a handshake. The lady gracefully receive the hand shake but when her hand touches the man’s , there is this shocked expression in the man’s face as he awkwardly pulls away his hand, and as the camera close up to the lady’s reaction, who is very embarrassed now, words appeared on the screen which says “ Having problem with rough skin? Use XXX for effective improvement of your skin.” Then the previous scenario was re-shot, only this time the lady’s hand was real smooth and the man was so attracted by her that he didn’t let go her hand for a long time. See what’s the problem with this commercial? Firstly, the target of this commercial was obviously the females. It has indirectly convey to us the message that females are supposed to have smooth skin, and no smooth skin = not feminine enough = awkwardness during handshakes. Worst still, the man’s expression in this commercial really kills me. I bet the man would not even be bothered by the roughness of the palm if the other party was a male! Actually, all this “after-effect” of us following the norms so as to be accepted in the society as a man or woman occurs due to how we had actually acquired this identity when we were young. It is amazing how your parents can further affirm you your identity through their actions. I remember when I was young; my parents always shower me with presents, not just any presents, but soft toys and Barbie dolls. I was pretty excited at the start, because it is pretty interesting at the beginning to act as the “voice” and “joints” of the doll-mimic the doll talking to yourselves and moving the doll around, but later as I got older, I had got so sick and tired of the dolls because for every single birthday, I just got a different type of doll. So one day, I told my mum that I wanted the Power-rangers robot that was very popular at that time. My mum’s reaction was enough to shut me off and not think of robots anymore because she gives me the no-you-didn’t-say-that look and says, “You want to play with robots? Robots are for boys! Be careful ah, next time nobody wants to marry you ah!” From then on, the idea got drilled into my mind, that I am a girl and can only play with dolls and that if I play toys that are meant for boys, I will be seen as some weirdo and cannot get married. Because I was brought up in this manner, I had hardly any pants in my wardrobe when I was young, had a storeroom full of dolls, and had never dare to discuss with the boys in my kindergarten on how exciting the previous episode of Power-rangers was even though I really wanted to. My brother, on the other hand, was brought up in a different context. Being the only boy among us siblings, he was more exposed to what we call “feminine” toys and games- cooking game, dolls, zero points etc. Thus he was very dependant on my mum, just like how many girls behave. I remember once my mum was telling how she was putting my siblings to sleep. My younger sister wanted my mum to give her a goodnight kiss and my mum obliged, and even gave her a bonus of a hug. My brother, who was ten at that time, saw this and insists my mum give him a kiss too. Although my mum really wanted to give him the kiss he deserve, for some reason my mum just feels weird to actually execute it. After much harassment by my brother, my mum finally gives him a kiss, one with not even half the affection she has shown towards my sister, just to get it over and done with. As quoted by my mum, “It just weird, after all he is stills a man!” What my mum was trying to say is that boys are suppose to be independent, rough and playful, unlike girls, who are suppose to be dependant, gentle and obedient. In this incident, my mother had applied stereotypical beliefs about males and females on my brother, which in turn lead to inequality against my brother, who should be receiving the same treatment as my sister. In whole, although all of us know it is wrong to see someone as weirdo if they do not follow the norms of a man or woman, and to apply stereotypical beliefs about males and females in our daily lifestyles, but because all this concept has been drilled into us since young, it is extremely difficult to just erase all this from your mind. Thus instead of doing this, following the norms and just do what everybody is doing seems like a simpler way to resolve this. We should however learn to think deeper before we comment on someone’s action in terms of gender issues. 0 comments |
